SOMEWHERE IN ANCUAN

JANUAE

I have been with Ossam’s troupe for a month now, and I’m told we should be reaching Orrila any day now. The last couple weeks we have been following the Sadara River along which there are plenty of small towns to entertain, so the circus has been rather busy.

The benefit of so many towns close together is it lessens the mind numbing travel time. It also provides me more opportunities to practice jaunting as performance nights offer the most optimal conditions as well as the use of the quiet car which is normally packed with supplies during travel. I still depend on the assistance of the ganch to quiet my mind enough to stimulate the jaunting but there have been two occasions where I jaunted successfully without the use of it! I am a long ways from having the ability honed but it offers me hope for one day being able to do so unassisted. I am also thankful for Yeri’s setup here in the wagon that allows me to return from these jaunts. I am so close to Orrila that I would not want to miss the opportunity to speak to Archbishop Slemtar about Pope Durranet’s crusade. I have a good feeling about how she will receive this information. I’m not sure how I’ll proceed with this training afterward though. Once I leave the circus I will have no way of returning from a jaunt. I will have to consider this carefully.

Heth Narhaa has continued with my combat training, placing focus on my new esotery. She was correct in surmising how it works; I set an intention to move a brief way back in time, giving me an opportunity to know what had transpired and be able to anticipate how to react to whatever had happened, or what was going to happen. I am not able to go back any farther than perhaps ten seconds, but it is enough to know what will happen next. Employing this esotery takes a lot out of me, but Heth Narhaa assures me I will be less exhausting as I become more proficient, though it will always cost me some energy.

Yeri of course never forgets to have me compensate them for allowing me use of the quiet wagon and Heth Narhaa’s training.

As the Sadara River has dropped into a valley of steep cliffs we have moved several kilometers north of it to a town call Asliet. This town was a favorite of the circus as its residents delighted in its arrival more than most other towns. I see many townsfolk gathering round simply to watch us set up our stages and tents, especially the children, where people in other towns go about their business while we go about ours. The members of Ossam’s troupe have a bit more energy about them, anticipating the extra shins we will expect to see come in this first night of the show.

The sun is approaching wane and the enthusiasm of the work crew had everything set up a bit earlier than normal. I find a quiet spot to myself and take in a meal before the show starts, before I prepare for my jaunting practice. A few townsfolk are waiting outside the gate but most have returned to their homes for what I assume is their mealtime as well. I watch the sun set in the western sky and the silhouettes of large birds ride the thermals in front of the bands of pink, orange, and blue-gray of the sky. I look a little closer at these birds and recognize their shape… the large leathery wings, the prominent ears, the tapering tail. I’m watching rasters gliding along the winds to the west. A creature specifically found among the sea cliffs of Ancuan.

Darkness has fallen, torches and glowglobes are lit, and the show begins. I take up in the quiet car and settle in for my jaunt. I am certainly in need of the ganch tonight as I have trouble keeping my mind off the rasters I saw earlier. Eventually they drift from my mind as easily as they drift along the thermals and I find myself in deep woods. I’m sure I will be encountering some wild creatures as a result. As predicted, in no time I am knocked to the ground by the onslaught of a hungry ravage bear. I do manage to roll out of the way quickly enough to prevent being skewered by one of its tusks. I have to move quickly; though the creature is completely blind and nearly deaf, it can easily determine my location by smell. I get to my feet and attempt to encircle it to get behind it but it easily rotates along with my movement and wraps its  front limbs around me. The grip is too powerful to slip from or break free of and I feel one of my ribs crack under the pressure. Immediately I call myself back to a moment earlier before the drooling maw clamps down on my shoulder, and I am once again on the ground where I had just rolled away from its lunge. Knowing it would merely follow me if I encircled it I instead slide beneath the legs of the beast and thrust my blade up into its lower abdomen. The ravage bear bellows and I withdraw my blade, quickly running it along the back of its leg. The tendon does not give to the slice, but I may have hit an artery. The creature tucks its head, dives into a sommersault while grabbing my legs and pulls me down onto it. I twist my body to ensure it cannot wrap me in another death grip and swing my blade at its torso. The ravage bear simultaneously swipes at me, managing to knock my knife from my hand and raking a claw across my forearm.

This is when I decide to run. A poor choice on my part. Though I manage to leave it a good three meters behind me with my head start the beast is far faster than me and any separation I had from it is instantly closed with a single leap. Again I am brought to the ground, followed by the instant pain from its bite sinking into my shoulder blade. It is my turn to bellow as the ravage bear pulls its head back, tearing away part of my robe and a bit of flesh. Futilely I struggle to free myself from under the weight of the creature but it presses me down with a giant paw, readying another strike of its bite. Once again I pull myself back to the previous moment, where I just begin to break into my run. I gauge the moment before the beast makes its leap and I pivot and unleash a blast of force from my hands. The ravage bear is thrust backward into a tree and I take a moment to assess my surroundings. I cannot outrun the creature, nor can I outclimb it or hide from its keen sense of smell. My knife lay somewhere on the forest floor so I certainly cannot fight it. I can feel fatigue set in from my multiple esotery uses. Quite simply and fortunately, it seems the time of the jaunt expires and I am brought back to the quiet wagon.

The encounter left me drained and exhausted and I am eager to retire to Yeri’s car to sleep. There was something I had been meaning to speak to her about but for the life of me I cannot recall it. For the moment, whatever it was cannot be more important than surrendering to my fatigue.

FOLLOWING MORNING

JANUAE

My body is still sore from the previous night and I’m not sure I will be up for another jaunting session tonight. Yeri is not in the wagon when I awaken. I take a moment to sloppily stitch a patch into the back of my robe then reluctantly leave the wagon to being the day’s work.

As I go about the day’s chores arranging the performance areas for tonight’s show I soon realize a pair of children are moving alongside me on the other side of the show ground’s fence. They excitedly whisper to each other as they watch me work. After an hour of laboring very slowly due to my aches, I stop to quench my thirst. As I draw a ladle of water from the barrel to my lips I hear the voices of children attempting to call me over.

GIRL

Can you come talk to us? Please?

BOY

Pretty please, mister? Please?

JANUAE

I can’t. I have work to do. Come back this evening. They’ll let you both in for one shin, I’m sure.

BOY

No, we already saw the show last night. We want to talk to you!

GIRL

Yeah, we love you!

JANUAE

I’m afraid you’ve confused me with one of the performers…

GIRL

No, we watched you last night! You were amazing!

JANUAE walks over to the children

JANUAE

What do you mean you watched me last night?

BOY

We saw you fight the ravage bear!

GIRL

I thought it was going to kill you for sure! When it knocked you to the ground-

BOY

Then you stabbed it and it flipped you over-

GIRL

Then you were going to run but then you pushed it away with numenera forces! Sometimes it seemed like you knew what it was going to do next!

JANUAE

Wait… hold on. How do you know all that?

GIRL

We watched it!

BOY

Yeah, we saw the whole thing!

JANUAE

You saw… how could you have-

GIRL

“Come see the amazing man in the miniature world! Watch him face and fight deadly creatures, navigate strange puzzles, and escape certain dangers!”

BOY

It’s the best act of the whole show!

JANUAE

Act…?

(beat)

Where was this act? Go around to where you saw this act and show me.

BOY

It’s right over there, at that wagon. See?

JANUAE

Wait… that’s the quiet wagon. How…

(beat)

Tell me how you watched me.

GIRL

They pulled the curtains aside and there’s a big glass ball inside, like a meter and a half wide. You can see into a whole ‘nother world inside the glass ball and you were there, in the world. You just appeared there then we watched you fight the ravage bear and then you disappeared.

BOY

And we can’t wait to come back tonight to see what world you go to next!

Pause

JANUAE

Would you excuse me?

JANUAE leaves the children where they are and goes to where YERI is setting up for their evening show

JANUAE

Yeri! What are you doing to me?

YERI

Januae, I’m in the middle of setting up for-

JANUAE

Am I just a part of the show? Am I another act?

YERI

Wherever are you getting that idea?

JANUAE

I just had a couple of kids describe to me what happened in the jaunt I took last night and they were pretty spot-on. It all plays out in a giant glass ball on stage for all to see, apparently. So now I’m just another one of Ossam’s acts, aren’t I? So what’s really happening to me, Yeri? Am I really jaunting? What is actually happening to me when I go in that wagon?

YERI

(sighs)

I don’t really know. You do jaunt, it seems, but to predetermined places from what we can tell. It’s prior world technology of course, so it’s only our best guess, but we suspect it might have been designed as a program for some sort of training based on where you’ve gone, incidentally the same places your predecessor had gone.

JANUAE

Wait a minute… a training program? Do you have any idea how dangerous a lot of those places are?

YERI

Hence, the training part. You have to face real dangers to be able to learn how to survive them.

JANUAE

I’ll have you know I came close to being killed several times!

YERI

And did you not notice how you’d return before you could meet your death? That is by design.

JANUAE

I don’t think so. That mesomeme would have severed my head if it weren’t for my newly awakened esotery.

YERI

As far as we could tell, that never happened. You were just standing there doing nothing and the audience was getting bored, so we pulled you out of there.

JANUAE

So you’re controlling when I come and go. I don’t believe it. Am I really even jaunting or are you just sending me wherever this thing takes me?

YERI

That I don’t know. It doesn’t work for most people. The person who used it last had a similar ability to yours, so once you told me about your jaunting thing I figured it was worth a shot.

JANUAE

And now you have a new act for the show. That’s how you talked Ossam into bringing me along.

YERI

You had to add value somehow. You think offering your hand as a laborer was reason enough to bring you on? Besides, this is a quid pro quo. You’re learning to still your mind and in exchange you help us provide some additional entertainment. Your act has been a huge hit, you know.

JANUAE

And when were you planning to tell me? How long were you going to keep this from me? Maybe just a few more days until we pass near Orrila? Then a few more? And yet a few more? Tell me, Yeri… where are we now?

YERI

We’re in… I believe it’s called Asliet.

JANUAE

Well last night I watched rasters riding the thermals to the west, Yeri. Rasters. Natively found in the cliffs off the coast of Ancuan. We’re in Ancuan, Yeri. A long ways from Orrila. In landlocked Milave. You lied to me. You intended to keep me as long as you could to be part of your act and to feed your coffers. I have wasted weeks with this outfit and for what?

YERI

Have you not better learned how to control your mind? You are the one who initiated the jaunts into those lands, Lost Nano. We were only able to bring you back, but you took yourself there. I have been helping you to learn to control it, just as I said I would. You could show me just a hint of gratitude.

JANUAE

For being lied to? For putting my life in danger time and time again?

YERI

You are much better equipped to defend yourself and face dangers than before you joined us, thanks to Heth Narhaa. Are you not?

JANUAE

Tell me this… what happened to the one before me? You said he did not return. What happened to him?

(a couple of beats)

That’s what I thought. Well you can find another lost nano to be a spectacle for your act. I’m through.

YERI

Wait, Januae… stay with us. At least until you fully learn to control your ability. Heth Narhaa will continue to train you and you will be better equipped to face whatever comes your way when you do decide to leave. I’ll even see about giving you a cut from what we bring in at the gate. What do you say?

JANUAE

No. You have lied to me and deceived me and I can’t abide by that.

YERI

I understand, but you have to understand it’s how we operate. It’s the way of a Sammy. Stay with us and you’ll come to understand that. We give people a different version of what they believe to be true, but in the end everyone gets what they want and leaves happy.

JANUAE

It is not my way. If lies are what it takes to get what you want, then what you want is a lie.

(beat)

Tell me this much… why did you insist I pay you with sex for the privilege of this jaunting charade? Surely you would have not kept me from the quiet car had I declined?

YERI

Would you have come to my bed had I not offered something in exchange? I wanted you, and I suspected I would be able to have you while in both of my aspects, a very rare treat for me. That’s what it took to get what I wanted. And that is not a lie.

JANUAE

And now I am lost to you. Goodbye, Yeri.

I leave Yeri and return to their wagon to grab my pack and the modest amount of belongings I still had within. I then make my way to the quiet wagon, noticing the large glass sphere stationed outside of it which I had paid no mind to dozens of times before. I slip into the wagon, spot the glass tube containing my blood, snatch it from the slot it is standing in and slip it into my pack and head for the gate that separates the show grounds from the rest of the town.