UNIVERSITY OF DOORS, PROFESSER ISEON’S OFFICE

ISEON

Hello, Shawn. Come on in. Please, have a seat, though I should let you know I need to make this brief.

SHOUM

Thank you, Professor Iseon. It’s Shoum, by the way. Apparently that’s hard for you to remember.

ISEON

Yes, well what did you want to see me about?

SHOUM

Well, I’ve come to dispute the assessment you gave me at the end of the course. It was not even close to a fair assessment.

ISEON

I beg to differ. I assessed your level at mediocre because your final presentation in ultradimensional studies was underwhemling at best.

SHOUM

I don’t at all agree with that assessment. I am one of the most talented student not only in your class, but I hold some of the highest merits in the University of Doors. This is this not an accurate assessment of my knowledge and abilities and you know it. You realize your assessment will keep me from getting into the upper tier program. You know I deserve to be in that program!

ISEON

I know no such thing. Here, let’s look at the final paper you wrote. “Reorientation and Shared Consciousness in the Prellti Dimension”. You do know there is no such dimension, Shawn?

SHOUM

It’s Shoum, and I know for a fact there is such a dimension. I’ve been to the Prellti dimension. I have studied the beings there and have brought them back to our dimension so they can study ours. You know how I was able to do this? Because I am the only one in your class who has the ability to perceive other dimensions, remember? I was able to discover and explore the Prellti dimension because I can see it. Just because you can’t see it or you’ve never heard of it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

ISEON

Yes, well, let’s see what you say in your “essay”, shall we? “The noncorporeal inhabitants of this dimension often share a non-localized consciousness, sometimes making it difficult for a non-native of the dimension to discern one from another, though they certainly display aspects of individualism, often demonstrated through the variations in how they perceive non-physical stimuli in the Prellti dimension.” Do you see how this sounds like a child’s tale?

SHOUM

You really think a child would write like that?

ISEON

Yes. Look at your handwriting.

SHOUM

Well, I admit my handwriting is not my strong suit… but that’s what I’m talking about right there, that’s the source of the problem. I think you have a prejudice toward me.

ISEON

A prejudice? Ridiculous.

SHOUM

Is it? You treat me like a child at every turn. You can’t seem to look past the fact that I appear to be a nine year-old girl, even though I repeatedly remind you that I’ve been alive twenty-seven years. In your mind I am only nine years old and you seem to have some kind of cognitive dissonance accepting that I am actually an adult.

ISEON

Shawn, I think it’s absolutely adorable that you think I have some sort of “prejudice” against you, but I assure you I don’t take physicality into account. If you were actually a twenty-seven year-old woman who wrote this paper, I would give it the same regard, I assure you.

SHOUM

That’s the thing… I am a twenty-seven year-old woman!

ISEON

Yes, of course you are. Be that as it may, I stand by the assessment I gave. You can try to appeal it with the board if you think I was being mean to you. I can’t imagine you’ll get anywhere, but good luck to you nonetheless. Now, I have an important meeting coming up so I do need to wrap this up. So if you have nothing further-

SHOUM

(sighs heavily)

I was afraid you’d be unwavering on this. If there’s nothing else I can say to convince you otherwise, then I suppose that will be all, yes.

SHOUM stands

SHOUM

Oh, I brought you a gift. I had planned to give it to you to show my appreciation for your understanding. Silly of me as I knew you weren’t going to change your mind. Well, here. You can have this anyway.

ISEON

You realize this will not affect my decision-

SHOUM

Of course. You might as well have it since I don’t like sweet meema. Didn’t you say you love sweet meema?

ISEON

Oh, isn’t that sweet. Did you make it yourself?

SHOUM

(holding back her annoyance)

Yes, I made it myself.

(brightening)

Special, just for you.

ISEON

Well thank you, Shawn. That’s very thoughtful.

SHOUM

It’s… never mind. Enjoy them, Professor Iseon.

The door closes.

ISEON

Ooh, I do love me some sweet meema. Too bad the little girl thought she could bribe me with this.

Sound of ISEON eating sweet meema. After several bites…

ISEON

Huh. I feel a bit strange. Probably low blood sugar.

ISEON continues eating

HIYA

What is this? How strange! How did I come to find this realm?

ISEON

Hello? Who’s there?

HIYA

This sensation is so strange. I can hear, smell… but this other sensation! What is all around me?

ISEON

Who is this? What is happening? Where are you?

HIYA

Hello, I am Hiya. Who shares space with me? You seem to be confined to a container that delivers a fascinating sensation! Wait, I can control it too!

ISEON

What are you? Are you in my mind? Why am I touching my arm? Are you controlling my hand? Stop touching my arm… er, stop making me touch my arm. Am I losing my mind?

HIYA

You seem perfectly lucid to me. We’re sharing mind-space. At least be polite and introduce- ooh, what is this?

ISEON

These are my clothes. Stop touching my clothes, please. Please give me back control of my body!

HIYA

This sensation is exquisite! Touching, this is what you call it? I need more!

ISEON

Stop it! I don’t need you controlling my- stop making me feel the desk!

HIYA

What are those there?

ISEON

Those are books. No no no… let’s not go to the… please, don’t. They are in a specific order! Put it back. Don’t- Stop, you’re bending the pages!

HIYA

Pages! So delicate, so smooth! Ay! Ooh.. that was slightly intense! What was that?

ISEON

That was a paper cut, thank you. Now if you’ll relinquish-

HIYA

I want to touch everything! I can’t get enough of this sensation!

ISEON

Please, you need to stop… put that down! You just got my hand wet!

HIYA

I need to experience more touching! This is exhilarating!

ISEON

No, don’t touch the… you’re leaving smears on the windowpane!

HIYA

It looks like there’s nothing there, but… smooth, cold?

ISEON

That damn kid! She did this, didn’t she? She brought you from whatever dimension that was she was talking about, didn’t she?

HIYA

What else can we touch? I don’t want to stop!

A knock on the door

ISEON

Oh no… my meeting with the Headstone for my review… he’s here now!

HIYA

Who’s here? I only sense the two of us. Wait… is it another consciousness in its own container?

ISEON

Yes, it’s another person, but-

HIYA

Oh, more sensations! This is going to be absolutely delightful! Bring him in!

ISEON

No no no no no no!